From the Humane Society of the Ozarks

All these animals are up for adoption and in urgent need. Jake, the Blue Heeler Mix has been at the shelter for 3 months and his adoption has been sponsored so it is completely paid for. If you are interested in providing one of these guys with a loving home, message the The Animal Shelter of the Ozarks for more details. Thanks!

Annoying Em Effers

So the two most annoying people in my life right now include:

Halloween



and Old Man Winter.



Hey guys, listen up will ya? Halloween, quit being so lame. Wednesday is not a cool day to be on, so move why don't ya?

And YOU, Mr. Winter Pants, I'm not ready yet. Can you chill a little on the chill?
I need to buy winter clothes and I ain't had time. Jeez, give a girl a break.

Both of you best recognize.

Amateur Photographer Wanted for National People Week

So this weekend was Roller Derby 360. A roller derby bootcamp hosted by the Kansas City Roller Warriors. Luckily it was also National People week, according to the gas station/McDonalds we stopped at on the way to KC. There was a big, glass enclosed bulletin board with photos pinned to the back surrounding a sign decreeing that it was "National People Week". I don't know if this was a way to make everyone feel good for the week, or if they missed an adjective in there somewhere....who knows. Well from there on out, any insanity encountered fell into the National People Week category (from here on our referred to as NPW).

So Jay loaded up three badasses into is car, Dilliverance, Jesster Riot and myself and we headed up 71 to KC. We arrived at the hotel at about 11:30 Friday night. The bootcamp began at 8:00am the following morning. Despite the "little people" room we were accidentally assigned (I am hoping that was what it was) that led to little sleep, we were up in the AM with bird's singing. Dill noted the similarity she felt between derby bootcamp and cheer camp. So in addition to it being NPW it also was cheer camp. We were very determined to attain the "spirit stick" for NWARG, so that was what we set our sights on.

We arrived at the rink before any of the other leagues. Jesster, my black guy friend, was there to represent her people:


She and Dill greeted everyone at the rink with loving open arms:


After the bootcamp got rolling, it was apparent we all had a lot of new stuff to learn. BTW, the KC roller Warriors are ranked 1st in the nation, so learning from them was a pretty big deal. They have two amazing coaches, one of which is an ice hockey coach, so a lot of his teaching stems from a hockey background, which makes for some serious roller derby play. I loved it!...I was terrible at it, but I loved it!

We finished up about 5:00pm. the four of us headed back to the Roloff's room to shower and nap. Dill and Jay went down to the hot tub, where Jay proceeded to witness two girls wrestling....in the hot tub.....with him it it. Umm yeah, Jay, you owe me BIG TIME for making yo' ass go to KC.

After waking my black guy friend, Jesster we went to get to' up with all the other leagues at a bar. It of course was eventually overtaken by an NWARG dance party. Jesster was breakin' down all her people's dance moves to all us crackers. We also were introduced to Queen La Queefah....umm yeah figure it out. Boarding school boredom causes you to learn a great deal..or at least that's what she says. On command...that's all I can say. Long live the queen.

After a long night of that madness, Miss Riot wasn't as excited about cheer camp the following morning:
(isn't that cute?)

Our girls began gearing up for some scrimmaging:
and I just couldn't resist some Mellow/Dimah ass.

Apparently Riot powers up nicely with a granola bar:

so after that she was good to go.

Here's Apache...not starting fights....for once:


Dill mastering the J-Stop:


Jason....Jay/Sin:


...and then my photos go downhill. I do not know how to use this dang camera. Anything involving weirdo lighting or motion, just died. So I have no good shots of the girls playing KC. Ugh! Sorry ladies







Jay also owes me big time for this:




For two years now, he has loved miss Snot Rocket (fastest jammer in the nation), and now he has her autograph and photos to prove it.

This photo not turning out was the saddest of all:


I love me some Red Ripper. She got to hang out with us at our hotel prior to the bar Saturday night. It was good to see her again.

So much more that was not captured by my crappy photography skillz:

-Purple suit man
-Jesster's amazing arm pit sniffing skillz
-Mellow Yellow learning to windmill at the bar
-Backing into running vehicles
-Dill winning the spirit stick (the crazy stick)

Pugfest 2007

I have been involved with Pug Rescue of NWA for about 3 years. Most of the work is done throughout the year. Transporting dogs to and from vets and forever homes, doing home visits, lots of phone calls to vet's, references, etc. Pugfest is our big fund-raiser of the year. It usually takes place in October which is nice (not too hot for the little smooshed faced babies).

Yesterday was our best yet. We raised over $2,600 for the rescue pugs and possibly recruited new volunteers and some possible homes.

I took my camera along, but didn't get any great shots. I was pretty busy running around, but here are some highlights:

Dog Story

This is Pierre:


He has a friend named Jean Paul:

One day Pierre told Jean Paul a secret


Apparently, it was quite shocking.

"Children of the Corn" Results

83-90 NCDG won.

It was a very good game. We ended up with 10 girls playing (down 4) so I think we did very well considering.

The trip was a lot of fun:
-Corn strewn everywhere in the hotel room
-"The MasterNATEr"
-Vegan pizza at a restaurant (woot!)
-Kobra Kai is hott!
-Fun with my NWARG girls
-Seeing a drunk person drive their car into the capital....of Lincoln
-Apache Rose being an ultimate badass!
-The results of Apache being a badass (ejection of Boy/Girl)
-Getting to skate at a really BADASS place.
-Seeing what it's like to have a city support roller derby
-Awarding Cpt. Jay Sparrow 7 points in his pick-up artist game.
-Phil (photographer from KC) took a lot of photos...can't wait to see them


Pershing Center is seriously awesome. The floor was sweet as hell and the sound, lighting, stage, etc....was all such an awesome setup for derby. (Dang lucky No Coast girls!)

The girls were super sweet and hospitable. The game was really fierce. The after-party at the bar was a lot of fun. I drank way too much....way, way too much. The after-after party at our hotel was fun save the "MasterNATEr" episode. (One penalty keeper that just could not control himself....uh yeah)

Driving home was fun except that Sparky Speedwagon got a ticket. This whole weekend got me really pumped for derby next season.

The pugs are hungry..gotta go.

p.s. Missed Travis and Jesster like whoah.

Lean Con Nah Brass Caw

It's 8:36 a.m. and I am kicking it in a hotel room in Lincoln, NE.
We all arrived safely last night.

Van 1 consisted of: Pork Pie, Saba Taj, Dimah Darling, Mellow Yellow, Apache Rose, Itty Bitty Bang & Bob Breckenridge. They arrived around 10:00 p.m., Van 2 (Spark Plug, Cpt. Jay Sparrow & myself) arrived at 1:45 a.m.

The trip up took less time that I assumed. I can't really make out anything about this town at this point. We drove in, went the wrong way on a one way street, spotted our hotel, pulled into the parking lot then noticed a place across the way that looks pretty skanky....it's sign proudly advertises Mexican food and cocktails....we are hoping they have a "lounge", if so we are hitting it up at some point.

We were hanging out till about 3:00, when Bob knocked on our door because he heard us from the hallway. Miss Mellow joined us in our little hotel suite party and we drank till after 4:00 a.m.

Prior to our leaving town, Pro reconfigured the lineups, which luckily do not include me, but instead have me in positions as an alternate...if the team so chooses to roll that way. Sounds good to me. I am expecting some corn-fed, big butt bitches up here.
:}

Van 1 called in to request a song for our intro. They suggested putting lyrics over the Beverly Hillbillies theme....so Jesster (via phone) and I did just that:
The Arkansas Killbillies

Well here's a little story about a team of rollergirls.
They come from down south eatin' possum & fryin' squirrel
They packed up their skates and hopped in rent-a-vans
Drove up north to cornbread land
Lincoln that is, No Coast Derby Girls

They didn't bring their cousins, they left their mamas at home
Takin' on the Mad Maxines they were all on their own
They knew this bout was gonna be a funn'n
As soon as they saw that indoor plumbin'
(Runnin water that is, toilet seats & drinkin' fountains)

We sure are glad that you asked us to stay
NWARG and No Coast what a great game
We know you're impressed with Mellow Yellow Power
Trust us when asked she won't shower.
(Natural she is, Smellow Yellow)

Now this right here is derby at it's finest
Skatin', hitttin,' blockin,' it ain't the kindest
But it's all over and we're friends now,
Derby ain't half as hard as tippin them cows.

Will blog more soon!

Do you ever have...

one of those days that you think you might implode/freak-out/die?

I am having one today. My worst nightmare has come true. Another one of our All-Stars has had to drop out of this bout due to a work conflict, so I am now playing in the bout. Not good news to me...(or the the all-stars, probably GREAT news to NCDG). But what do ya do? You just go and do it the best you can. Maybe it will be good for me...or maybe I will be posting my next blog from a hospital bed...who knows. :)

Pink & Black On The Attack

Leaving tomorrow night for Lincoln, NE.
Our All Star Team, the Arkansas Killbillies are being hosted by the No Coast Derby Girls. It's going to be a lot of fun. I was originally going as a coach/lineup bitch, but it looks like I might, might, might be called to play. I hope that is not the case.

Maybe things will be different when we get there, but all the All Star teams we have encountered thus far are above my current ability. Last night at All Star practice, I joined in and actually felt pretty good about it, but things change very quickly on the floor during a bout.

Jesster and I plan to take the two months we have off from Roller Derby season to get in shape so we can be awesome players next year. This first year was hard on me. Never having played a sport, never been in shape.... lots of nevers. But I think if I can spend some time learning the fundamentals of speed skating, blocking techniques, LOTS of cardio, etc., I will be set to be a force next season. Can that be achieved in two months? I hope so.

Anyway, I am super pumped about my girls taking girls down like this:

Wish them luck!